This is a guest post by Susan at The Confident Mom
My family is quite the mish-mash if you ask me, but you know….I like it that way!
When my husband and I married in 2007, we knew we were not going to have more children – it was clear. I came into the marriage with two of my own and he had one, so a nice blended family – that was our plan. We knew this so clearly that before our wedding he had a vasectomy.
Funny how “our plans” always seem to change.
Not long after we married it was laid on my heart to adopt. I had NEVER had this notion, desire or thought before. It caught me off-guard, I mean … my husband and I had great plans to parent our children and then have years of child-free bliss, traveling and focusing on ourselves.
How perfect is that?
We hadn’t had the pleasure of some ‘child-free’ years before we were married and let me just say, blending a family is quite the process and I knew we would need a much earned break! I was looking forward to being a little selfish and adoption is not selfish, so this was quite the bump in the road.
One day during lunch, I decided to share with him what had been on my heart. As funny as it sounds, my husband was also given the adoption tug at the same time I was, although we were thousands of miles apart. After several months of struggling and resisting, we opened up a new chapter of our lives.
We have decided to go the route of “foster to adopt” rather than adopting foreign and waiting for an infant. There are so many children just waiting and needing homes locally and our desire was to fulfill what God had put together for our lives, not box Him in with all our requirements or desires. So we have traveled this journey, allowing God to decide who would come into our home and whom we could bless.
The interesting thing is, we have been the ones who have been blessed beyond belief or imagination. Growing me, growing my husband, growing our family.
Our first placement was two summers ago, we got a call to take a newborn and he came into our home. I thought this was the answer to my prayers, I was ecstatic. He was here only 3 weeks and circumstances beyond our control took him closer to where his mother lived, so he left, taking a piece of our hearts with him. I didn’t think I could ever say goodbye, but we did and are changed for the better – as a family, a couple and individuals. This was my biggest fear, inviting a child into my heart and then losing him. I didn’t think I could ever survive it, but you know what – I did.
The Lord walked through our grief with us and actually showed us that we were much stronger than we gave ourselves credit for and that He would be here to comfort us.
So we waited again … wondering when the call would come. The call came … they needed a family with older children to take placement of a 12 month old little boy. I could hardly believe it!
We finished construction in the nick of time to add a fifth bedroom in order to accommodate one more to our family. In the storyline of this entire journey, everything has just been in the nick of time – funny how that works!
This little boy has been in our home for more than a year and we hope that we are his forever home. That may not be God’s plan, but as a mother I have to open my heart to that level and give this little boy all that I have. Even if he does not stay, I know that he needs all that I can give him.
This is how I am being blessed by him and how God is growing my heart. At one time in my life I could never have imagined having the ability to fully accept and love a child that was not my own, biologically. But I have realized that God is full of surprises and sometimes you just have to say you’re willing and he will do the rest.
There is nothing that could have brought our family together like this little guy has done. Being a blended family brings its own challenges, but this little guy has united us like nothing else could. You see, he is not a “hers” or a “his”, he is an “ours”. He is connecting us together in a way none of us ever could have on our own.
God’s perfect plan in His perfect timing.
Susan also writes at The Confident Mom where she loves inspiring moms to make small changes managing their home and family life giving them more time, less stress and stronger family relationships! She wears the hat of mom, step-mom and foster mom to 4 awesome kids – ages 19, 15, 11 and 2; is married and does think the “bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle.”
To learn more about adoption you can read about my experience here.
and FFD is looking for frugal living, adoption, craft, recipe and DIY posts.. we would love for you to share your ideas.
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