How to Fake a Clean House

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clean houseUh oh! You just got a phone call that your best friend from high school/fellow PTO member/husband’s coworker is going to be at your house in 20 minutes. Unfortunately, your home looks like a tornado went through it. You may not have time to clean, but you have time to fake-clean!

Limit Your Scope
Your visitors aren’t going to be everywhere in your house, so pick the rooms you want to focus on. You’ll need the other rooms for emergency storage! Don’t worry about your bedroom or the kids’ bedrooms. If you’re worried that the kids will want to take their friends to play in their room, bring a bin of toys out and keep them in the living room until the friends leave.

Throw Out the Trash
A house can’t look clean if there’s trash lying around. Grab an empty garbage bag, go around to each room, and collect all the garbage. Take the trash straight out to the garbage can so it doesn’t clutter up your house.

Also see, How to Make Your House Feel Clean Even When You Don’t Have Much

Collect Clutter
Keep extra storage totes in your basement or garage for just this situation. Now, go around the rooms you’ll be cleaning (kitchen, bathroom, living room) and put every item that shouldn’t be there in a bin. This won’t clean your house, but it will let you fake it long enough to get through a visit. Stick the storage bins in the bedrooms and shut the door! Make sure to leave the bathroom door open so people don’t accidentally go into a bedroom while looking for the bathroom.

Hide the Dirty Dishes
No matter how clean a kitchen is, dirty dishes can make it look ten times worse. Stick the dishes in the dishwasher if you have one. If you don’t, put them in a dish bin and shove it under the sink until your unexpected guests leave. Wipe out the sink so it looks sparkling clean!

Wipe Down and Relax
Grab a couple microfiber cloths and walk around with a bottle of cleaner. Spray each surface, wipe it down, and move on. Hit the major points in your home—bathroom sinks, toilets, counters, TV stands, and coffee tables. This extra touch can pull your house together.

Now sit down, act like you haven’t spent the last half an hour running around cleaning, and enjoy your visit! You have lots of cleaning and tidying waiting for you once your guests leave, so take the time to enjoy their visit.

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  1. Nicole says

    Another idea for dirty dishes is to stick the bigger pots and pans into the oven until your company leaves. Just don’t forget that they’re in there!

  2. W Tolbert says

    Or stick the smaller dishes inside the pots & pans & put all of them in the oven. I concentrate on the bathroom as nearly everyone has to use that. The rest is surface cleaning. I had a friend once with four small girls yet her house always looked clean. She then explained that when someone came up the driveway, all clutter was literally thrown into the laundry room. And yeah, THAT was a disaster. I limit my decor so THAT doesn’t look like clutter.

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